Hello, I’m Gina and I am left-handed.
If you’re a left-hander you know, not all objects are created equal. In the 40 years I’ve been on this planet, I’ve learned to live in a right handered world. If you’re not a “lefty” you may think, there’s really no difference, but if you are, you will understand that the struggle is real.
Here’s a list of items that favor the “righty.” After reading them, you may better understand our plight…
The Ladle – some of them have a spout on the left side. Soup pours perfectly for right-handers, but give a ladle to a lefty and “no soup for you” as it spills abruptly into your bowl and onto the table and possibly onto the floor.
Scissors – we’ve all heard about this one. Don’t run with them and don’t cut anything with your left hand. There are never any left-handed scissors available when you need them, so we do have to learn to cut with our right hand and that never turns out well.
Sitting at a Restaurant Booth – please have the lefty sit on the wall side of the booth on the left, or next to another lefty as elbows will be battling in an epic fork and spoon war to the mouth.
Manual Transmission – working that stick shift with your right hand and left brain isn’t easy. I tried it once. #EpicFail #AutoTransFromHereOnOut
Stringed Instruments – No. we can’t just turn it upside down and play, silly. You’ve gotta restring that baby for us…
The Ink Smudge – as a left-hander, you can spot another lefty a mile away when they begin to write. Back in the day before computer keyboards, we had to use writing utensils. Lefties go from left to right dragging the side of their hand through the pen’s fresh ink or chalk or whiteboard words on causing a beautiful art piece to emerge on the hand that is difficult to wash off. I was actually given a metal contraption in the 3rd grade (by Mrs. Harris, you know who you are…) that held a pencil in my right hand and was meant to smoothly guide me to the “right-side.” Yeah, that didn’t happen and my teacher gave up because she couldn’t even read my name. And while we’re on this topic, we are also not for spiral notepads. Try to take notes comfortably with a piece of metal jabbing your hand…
The Coffee and Beer Mug – If you want your logo to be read by the drinker, consider putting it on both sides of the glass. In our eyes, all we see is a blank canvas.
We do have one hero, a man who tried to change the world for us and spread the gospel of the left-hander. That man was Ned Flanders from The Simpsons. If you remember his store, the Leftorium, it gave us all hope that the world would soon be different. Well, not long after, the store saw its demise and according to Simpsons Wiki, Ned had to downsize to a simple kiosk, the Leftorium Express, due to the success of a nearby full-sized competitor, Southpaw Superstore. However, in the episode “Opposites A-Frack”, Ned was seen working in his full-sized store once again without a continuity explanation. Finally, the Leftorium went out of business due to being unable to compete with online shopping, and Ned struggled to maintain a job until he joined Springfield Elementary School as the new fourth-grade teacher, he was our voice, our rock, and he will never be forgotten.
We do seem to go unnoticed in most parts of the world keeping a low profile and trying not to complain, and believe it or not, we are rare at only about 12% of the world’s population. All we are asking is for a little recognition and some more uni-hand objects but until then, be sure to reach out, help us cut those papers, pour soup, or volunteer to drive around every once in a while. Then the world will be al”right.” Haha!!! And if you know one, wish us a happy left-handers day today, August 13th, 2018. Cheers!
Featured photo courtesy of The Simpsons
Blog by: Gina Schauland, Associative Marketing Manager, Social Media