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Bar Jokes and You!
Okay ~ way too many of you out there have way too much time on your hands! Jokes have been flying in and out of my email for the last month or so, and everyone at the office thinks I’m a little looney as I sit laughing aloud to myself. With that said, keep those bar jokes coming, lesley@deschutesbrewery.com.
These first few jokes came in from number of people with a similar rendition.
Two ropes walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out of here, we don’t serve your type!” They leave angry so one rope ties himself into a knot and frays his ends and goes back into the bar. The bartender asks, “Aren’t you one of those ropes I just threw out of here?” He answers, “Nope, I’m a frayed knot.” (6 submissions)
A mushroom walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer.” The bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here.” The mushroom replies, “Why not? I’m a fungi?!?” (4 submissions)
A horse walks into a bar and orders several beers in a row. The bartender says to the horse. “It appears you’re feeling sad about something.” The horse replies, “I’m feeling fine.” Then the bartender asks, “Then why the long face?” (5 submissions)
Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the boos!
Submitted by: Melanie Hare, Portland, Oregon
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
Submitted by: Randy Brown, Cameron Park, California
I went to a bar during happy hour last week . . . they were serving food as an appetizer and I pulled a mussel.
Submitted by: Randy Brown, Cameron Park, California
A beautiful woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a man who is drinking alone. She smiles invitingly at him and says, “For $75.00 I will do anything you can name in three words.” He looks at her for a long moment and then replies, “Paint . . . my . . . house.”
Submitted by: Lilli Ann Foreman, Bend, Oregon
And lastly, my personal favorite ~
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the beer and the neutron asks, “How much?” The bartender replies, “For you, no charge.”
Submitted by: Charles Gillman II, Lacey, Washington
Submit your bar joke(s) and if used, we will send you a Deschutes Brewery t-shirt. Please submit all jokes to lesley@deschutesbrewery.com.
The Sagebrush Classic Thanks You!
The 2005 Sagebrush Classic was a resounding success, for chefs, guests and volunteers alike with over $220,000 dollars raised for the Deschutes Children's Foundation and other children's charities in the community.
The success of the event would not be possible without the large number of volunteers who work with us each year. From the football kids to the general public, the volunteers are what make the event "work" from year to year.
So, "thank you!" Everyone deserves a big round of applause and a friendly warning. I will be calling again next year! :)
Deschutes Brewery
Employee Profile
 Aaron Zwetsloot has been happily serving our guests at the Pub for the past seven years. He loves the fast and friendly pace and the good-humored locals. Aaron likes to make everyone’s day a little brighter. When he’s not here, he is spending time with his wife Jill and their two-year-old son Parker. He also has a strong love for old Volkswagens. He has eight different VWs in various states of assembly and does work on his friends’ cars. His prize possession is a 1965 split-window double-treasure-chest-door single cab. You can also find Aaron enjoying the amenities of life in Central Oregon: camping, fishing, hiking, mountain biking and cross-country motorcycling. His favorite beer: Cask Conditioned Bachelor Bitter.
Pairing Food with Beer
For many visitors to the pub, the right pairing of food with beer is critical. Alternatively, is it beer with food? Regardless, there are some simple principles to pairing food with beer. The most important one is “Drink beer that you like with food that you like.” If you desire to experiment further than that deep thought, here are some additional concepts.
Similarity
The food and beer share a basic characteristic. Examples of this would be hoppy beers with herbal food, like an IPA paired with pesto or sweet BBQ sauce with a malty beer like Porter.
Contrast
Food and beer have deliberately different characteristics that are harmonious with each other. Spicy or salty foods will pair well with malty beers. Tart or citric beers will complement creamy sauces or mild cheeses. |
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Equal Intensity
Beer and food have approximately the same intensity or strength of flavor. Again, drink what you like with what you like to eat but know that if you drink Stout with a delicately sautéed piece of halibut, you will not taste the fish. Try to balance so you can taste both the beer and the food.
Food Cooked with Beer
Generally, food cooked with beer will go well with the beer it was cooked with. There are many great beer cookbooks and web sites that offer beer recipes. www.beercook.com is one.
And remember, food cooked with Deschutes Brewery beer is happier.
Deschutes ~ Near and Far
 Deschutes Brewery continues to travel the globe with recent trips to Greece, Iceland, Europe, Philadelphia and Virginia City.
Now, some of the Deschutes Brewery team recently visited Philadelphia but not one of us thought to bring along some beer to photograph in this amazing city. Jim and Julie Newton from Vancouver,  Washington were not so absentminded and had multiple pictures throughout the City of Brotherly Love.
Jim Sollenberger visited Virginia City on his travels in April and took along some Black Butte Porter to the famous Palace Saloon.
One of my favorites is from Kent Mortimore who traveled to Athens, Greece with a Black Butte Porter bottle in front of the Parthenon. And he found fellow NW travelers while shooting the pic.
Now Iceland is not the place I would think of to vacation but Angelo De Ieso II from Portland, Oregon does. Not only did he take a Mirror Pond Pale Ale bottle but went with a 12-pack to share with locals that he met.
Julie and Joe Swinehart traveled Europe recently and Mirror Pond Pale Ale went along for the journey. I’m not sure where these pictures were taken but it sure looks like Italy to me.
Thanks to everyone for sending photos in. Please remember to include your address so the brewery can send you cool brewery stuff for sharing your travels with our readers.
Please send all submissions to lesley@deschutesbrewery.com via email or to:
Deschutes Brewery, attn: Lesley, 901 SW Simpson, Bend, OR 97702
Happy travels!
Beer and Wine Dinner at the Mountain Room Featuring Maragas Winery
Date: Friday, September 30th at 6:30 p.m.
Ticket info: $75.00 inclusive of gratuity and wine
Contact: Sharon McMorris, 541-385-8606
Menu
Appetizer
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Pancetta wrapped Sea Scallops in a Preserved Gazpacho with Double Cream
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Crostini ~ Paired with Maragas Pinot Riche and Kolsch Salad
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Pressed Duck served aside Warm Juniper Grove Chevre and Spiced
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Pear Salad ~ Paired with Maragas Legal Zin and Altbier
Entrée
Dessert
For more information on Maragas Winery and the wines presented, please see www. maragas.com. For reservations, please contact Sharon McMorris at the above number.
Another unique Mountain Room event is scheduled for Saturday, November 12th featuring local chefs Jody Denton of Merenda, Gavin McMichaels of The Blacksmith Restaurant along with Deschutes Brewery’s chef, Gene Soto. More information will be available soon. |