Bar Jokes and You!

We’ve decided on a new feature for the Bitter Truth.  That’s right ~ We are looking for CLEAN bar jokes that can be utilized for a family-friendly newsletter. 

With that in mind, here are a few of the jokes that our Bitter Truth editors found out in the world of jokedom.

A naked man with a set of jumper cables around his neck walks into a bar and orders a beer.  The bartender says. “Okay, just don’t start anything.”

Renee Descartes walks into a bar.  The bartender says, “Would you like a beer?”  And Renee says, “I think not,” and promptly vanishes. 

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, there’s a drink named after you!”  And the grasshopper says, “Really?”  There’s a drink named Bob?”

A skeleton walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a beer and a mop.”

A sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer.  The bartenders says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

A bear walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a beer . . . . . and a glass of water.”  The bartender says, “Sure, but why the big pause?”

A termite walks into a bar and says, “Is the bar tender here?”

And lastly, my personal favorite ~

Two guys walk into a bar.  The third guy ducks.

Submit your bar joke(s) and if it is used, we will send you a Deschutes Brewery t-shirt.  Please submit all jokes to lesley@deschutesbrewery.com.

Deschutes ~ Near and Far

More photos for our Deschutes ~ Near and Far section arrived in droves, well, maybe not droves, but four of our loyal readers sent in photos with a Deschutes beer that trekked along with them in their travels.

Ken Riddle and his wife, Michelle, relaxed in Jamaica while sipping a Black Butte Porter at their resort.  Wish I was the one relaxing in Jamaica.

I’m not sure but I think we have a tie for these next photos.  Sarah Durfee and Chad Lowe couldn’t take Deschutes beers to Accra, Ghana in March but nonetheless, the support they show for Deschutes Brewery cannot be denied.

Gary and Robin Bennett took Mirror Pond along on their trip to the Amazon River ~ see what I mean about the tie?  I think our beers are getting more travel time than I am!

With a vision somewhat closer to home, Melissa Gwinup traveled north of the border to Victoria, B.C., and high tea at the Empress Hotel.

Our thanks again to all who submitted photos for this issue.  That photo from China is still waiting in my hip pocket for that day when someone forgets to send a photo in. 

Please send all submissions to lesley@deschutesbrewery.com via email or to:
Deschutes Brewery, attn:  Lesley, 901 SW Simpson, Bend, OR 97702

Happy travels!

Sagebrush Classic
The Best Way to Raise Money for a Good Cause

The Sagebrush Classic was founded as the Sagebrush Scramble back in 1989 as a way of thanking our pub customers with a golf tournament and BBQ.  That first year 80 golfers turned out for a fun day on the links and a party on the “patio,” aka back parking lot, of the pub.  The event grew when we partnered with Broken Top Club in 1994 and added the Classic Feast.  Since then, it has become the most successful fundraising event in Central Oregon, and, by far, the most fun.  With great chefs from around the world attending the Feast each year and terrific bands to provide entertainment, the event is unique not just in Central Oregon, but for the entire Northwest. 

The generosity of our community is on display again this year as July 15 and 16 mark the 16th year of this great event.  Benefiting the Deschutes Children’s Foundation and other selected charities, as well as the football programs of all three local high schools, the Sagebrush Classic has raised well over $1 Million and looks to extend that record by a good margin this year. 

The Deschutes Children’s Foundation is a unique organization as well.  Founded by the Bend community in 1993, it receives no government funding and exists to manage facilities for youth and family service-oriented programs at four, rent-free campuses.  This also allows for collaboration and synergies between organizations that enables them to leverage their dollars and deliver more services to their constituencies.  Resident projects include The KIDS Center, Healthy Beginnings, COBRA (Central Oregon Battering and Rape Alliance), Together For Children, Bend Community Action Team, and many others.

In addition to the Deschutes Children’s Foundation, the Sagebrush Classic funds approximately 15 youth and family services related charities through a RFP (Request For Proposal) project managed by the Deschutes Children’s Foundation, plus making donations to the local high school football programs in recognition of the valuable volunteer labor the players provide to the event.

Deschutes Brewery is very proud of the Sagebrush Classic and what it accomplishes for the community.  But it is (arguably?) also the party of the year with the best food and the best time.  To have that much fun and do that much good is truly special (defines Win-Win).

There may be a few tickets still available.  Call Moira at Deschutes Brewery 541-385-8606.

Deschutes Brewery’s Sagebrush Classic ~ Volunteers Needed!

The 2005 Sagebrush Classic is July 15th & 16th and there are many, many volunteer opportunities available.  You can work with the chefs doing prep on Friday or Saturday.  You can serve at the Feast on Saturday evening.  If that does not suit your desires, you can help with set-up at the feast site on Friday or Saturday. 

This year’s line-up of chefs has delivered some very unique menu items and with it, a very long list of volunteer needs!  Thank you in advance to all of our readers and customers who volunteer!

Please contact Lesley Walthew at Deschutes Brewery if interested in volunteering, 541-312-6944 or email at lesley@deschutesbrewery.com.

Deschutes Brewery
Employee Profile

Deschutes Brewery is fortunate to have many long-time employees working at both the pub and the plant, aka Brew 2.  Many folks who visit the pub do not get the opportunity to meet the people that make Brew 2 run.

One of those integral members is Marc Rogers.  Marc began working at the brewery in July 1996 in the racking or kegging department.  For those who know, this can be one of the most tedious jobs at the brewery.  And, in those days, the brewery only used the more challenging golden gate kegs, not the sanke’ kegs that are used today.  From there, he moved into cellars, then into admin and today, Marc is our Cost Accountant, tracking all the beer and where it goes within the brewery.

In 2002 he married Heather, one of our all-time favorite pub servers from back in the day, and they just celebrated their third wedding anniversary in June.  In his spare time, Marc enjoys fly fishing, though he won’t tell me his favorite spot, mountain biking and backpacking.  Golden Lake is his fav spot for a relaxing outdoor weekend.  And when visiting the pub in the afternoons, you can find Marc at the bar enjoying a Kolsch, a summertime pub favorite.

Oregon and Craft Beer
For many Oregon residents, the knowledge that Craft Beer is an important part of Oregon culture and the Oregon economy is second nature.  With July being National American Beer Month and the Oregon Beer Festival, it seemed natural to declare the week of July 23rd thru 31st Oregon Beer Week.  Thank you, Governor Kulongowski!

With that in mind, keep an eye out for Craft Beer events of all kinds throughout that week.  The Horse Brass, a Portland favorite pub, will be planning events as will other brew pubs and bars alike.  And, with Oregon Beer Festival that same week, a beer lover can count on some amazing finds at the OBF.

For Deschutes Brewery’s part, our brewers have created “The Enigma.”   This version of Mirror Pond Pale Ale with a higher gravity, was brewed in April and has been conditioning for the last few weeks in Oregon Pinot Noir oak barrels from Domain Drouhin.  It will only be available at Oregon Brewer’s Festival, and perhaps at the pub for a very limited time.
 

Save a Tree!
This newsletter is available electronically.  If you’d like to switch or subscribe, send an e-mail to bchase@deschutesbrewery.com